Facebook

I've promised a lot of posts in the past...but I tend to not follow through on actually writing what I've promised.  One such promise concerned a post about facebook and deleting my account.  So.  I'm here today to deliver. (Disclaimer:  I am not bashing facebook, the creators, or people who use facebook.  Really I'm not bashing anything.  I'm just writing about my experience and thoughts on the subject.)

Probably around Thanksgiving I became annoyed, disillusioned even, w/ facebook.  I was ready to give it up.  Why?  Because, to be honest, it sucked up a lot of my time.  Was I addicted?  No, I don't think so.  But was I over concerned w/ what was going on w/ my friends on facebook, and even more concerned w/ how they perceived me over facebook?  Yes.  A resounding and definite yes.  For a long time I had been able to justify having my account b/c of where we were living, the distance between me and so many friends and family members.  "Facebook allows me to keep up w/ them easily and quickly," I would say to myself.  That statement is true.  But it wasn't enough to make my conscience still cringe about the time I spent on facebook (and let's just face it, on the computer in general).

I didn't really try imposing limits on myself, though, because deep down inside, I knew it really wouldn't work.  Sure, I could give it up for a week or a month, or even cut down on the times I allowed myself to log on, but after that, it would still be there.  So, essentially, I put off doing anything about it for, you guessed it, another day.

Sometime after Christmas, Logan and I watched The Social Network.  Frankly, I was disgusted...by the college scene in general, although I know this is not the norm for all college students--by the grace of God it was not the norm for me, and by the way it was portrayed that everything went down between Mark Zuckerburg and Eduardo Saverin.  Now, I know that the movie was a dramatization.  I know it wasn't a live documentary, and much of the drama that was shown was simply that--drama for its own sake and not the truth behind what may or may not have happened.  But let me tell you this, the movie portrays Zuckerburg and Saverin as close friends in college and as Saverin being the main financial backing behind facebook when it was first starting up.  By the end of the movie, their friendship has completely been destroyed, and Zuckerburg pretty much hangs Saverin out to dry.  Like I said, there may not be an ounce of truth behind all of this, but it broke my heart.  I couldn't help but think, "He was your friend when no one else really liked you!  And you were such a jerk!"  (I've been known to emphasize loyalty in a relationship maybe too much.  But it a characteristic that is very important to me.) Anyways, the movie left me more unhappy with facebook as a whole.

We arrived back in America in January, and I kept holding onto my facebook account because it was still an easy way to get in touch w/ people.  Finally though, in March I think, I just deleted it.  Just like that.  And let me tell you, its been great.

Now, really, I know, who cares about what I think about facebook?  No one really, and maybe no one should.  And I haven't really done a good job of explaining all the reasons that brought me to delete my account.  But I can tell you this.  For me it was the right decision.  For me I finally was able to recognize that it was consuming me on some level, and I was too concerned w/ how people perceived me to be, rather than seeing me for who I really was.  This doesn't make sense, or you don't think you do the same thing?  Let me ask this...how many times do you untag yourself from a not so attractive picture?  Or search for just the right photo for your profile picture?  How many times do you rewrite/update your interests or favorite books or education information so that you are presenting the most up to date, appealing presentation of yourself?  You may say..well, never.  And for that I give you a high five.  Good job.  But for me...that wasn't the case.  I'm so vain that I probably think that song is about me, and, I want you to be impressed by me.  Because deep down I'm insecure in my identity and seek to please others.

In reality though, my identity is found in Christ, and that should be enough.  That is enough.  My worth is not defined by my facebook profile picture...or by my clothes, or what I do, or what I don't do, or who I know or what books I carry around.  My worth is found in Christ.  Deep down I know that is the truth. I still have to remind myself daily, or multiple times a day, but it is the truth.  Maybe one day I can get back on facebook and use it a bit more wisely, and not have it try and define who I am.  But that day is not here yet, so until then I live happily without it and seek to spend more (actual) quality time w/ the people around me (instead of just reading about their lives from a distance) and spend less time thinking about...well...myself.

--da

永久

I'm really, really missing my bicycle today.  And when I say "my bicycle" I really mean Sarah Le's bike, which got passed on to me and then to Rachel, or Nick's bike, because when I loaned my bike (Sarah's bike) to Rachel I straight up took Nick's bike.  Which is pictured here.  (thanks, Nick...for the picture and the loaning of your bike.)

Its a very sturdy bike.  And when I say sturdy, I mean it has to weigh like 20 pounds.  Maybe not, but it is truly heavy.  And by its name 永久 (YongJiu) (Forever) you know it has been around forever (since the 1940s) and will probably be around forever, due to the massive amount of steel that its made of.

As it neared the time for us to make the journey back to America, I got excited about driving around in a car again....air conditioning, music blaring and the ability to sing along w/o anyone hearing you or looking at you strangely, etc.  Now we've done for that a few months, and although still enjoyable, and still the mode of transportation I prefer for making the trip from Kentucky to Texas that we'll make in 3 weeks, I do miss my bike.  I miss riding around on palm tree lined streets w/ my headphones on, weaving in and out of traffic.  So I'm looking forward to doing that when we return.

--da

What I like about Louisville #3

Good coffee.

I wouldn't really call myself a coffee snob.  However, I think that Logan has educated me enough to really know how to appreciate good coffee.  So..we have scouted out the coffee sites in town, and my favorite place here in town is probably Quills Coffee.  Their menu is small, but not b/c they aren't capable of making all kinds of drinks.  Its more along the lines of they are very specific about what they are willing to make.  In other words, you won't find some blended drink w/ whipped cream here.  Now, don't get me wrong.  I'm not knocking your frappuccino...I have to be honest and say I've been known to enjoy one as well.  But its kind of like growing in maturity in our love for food.  Eventually you move past chicken nuggets (unless we're talking Chick-fil-A here) to more grown up food like cordon bleu.  With coffee it should work the same way.  Eventually that frappuccino is just not going to be as satisfying as an americano w/ an extra shot and room for cream.

--da

(I got the above image from the Quills Coffee website.)

Honking Etiquette

In China, and maybe in lots of Asian countries, it is not considered rude at all to just lay on the horn.  Honking is more of a "I'm here, don't run over me"or "I'm turning now across 4 lanes of traffic, get out of my way."  In China, we honk and pull out or turn, and you better watch out, because if you hit me, its your fault.  None of this is rude.  Its just expected.  Its the norm.  And when you are honked at, don't be offended.  The person honking at you probably would buy you dinner if you asked them to, and really, I don't think many Chinese people can drive w/o honking incessantly.

In America, honking is usually rude.  At least I feel like it is kind of a loud, "You big idiot!" Or, we'll do it occasionally to get someone's attention, like at a stop light and we see someone we know beside us in the next lane.  But today I totally honked at the guy in front of me at a stop light because it was green and he was obviously not paying attention.  I know honking in this circumstance is not absolutely abnormal for Americans, but it did remind me of how differently we use the horn here compared to how its used in China.  I wish I had a traffic video for you so that you could hear and see what I'm talking about, but I don't.  Maybe that will be something I work on when we go back in July.  Maybe, we'll see.

--da

What I don't like about Louisville #2

I know it is ridiculous....but there are no Rosa's here.  I really can't wait to get back to Texas and, on a Tuesday night, partake of a plate of tacos for only $3.69.  There are Mexican food restaurants here, but really, can you honestly beat the amount of food you get for the price you pay at Rosa's?  I don't think so...

--da

Can someone mail me some tortillas?

What I like about Louisville #2/What I don't like about Louisville #1

Okay, I'm having a hard time keeping up the desire to write.  My 500 words a day is not happening, even if  I average out all that I write in a week.  But here's a quick post b/c I know I need to write.

I love how green it is here.  West Texas just can't compare in the department of naturally green grass (no one is watering their lawn here), trees that bloom into all shades of pink, and tulips that are just vibrant in color.  Logan and I took a walk yesterday evening around 6:00, and I was amazed yet again by the colors and beauty of spring.  Plus, it isn't incredibly windy here.  And, the humidity is nice...my skin isn't cracking and my allergies aren't out of control in a humid environment.

On the other hand, this has a flip side of what I haven't enjoyed about Louisville...it is just now getting warm.  When we finally hit 55 degrees a few weeks ago, everyone was just gushing at the beautiful weather we were having, and how warm it was outside.  Granted, I know that temperature is all relative, and when its constantly hot, you long for 55, and when its constantly cold, you also long for 55.  Regardless, I was not warm, or convinced that 55 was beautiful.  Yes, it was better than 32....but I was still comfortable in long socks, a scarf and a coat...in the house.  Coming from living in a climate for two years where it was at least 80 in your house most of the year makes 55 seem not incredibly warm.

Anyways, there's really no point in comparing two different places on the planet.  There's naturally not going to be a lot of overlap in what is the same, and inevitably you find things you like and dislike about the place.  Making comparisons also shows me just how discontent I can tend to be in any situation.  Contentment is something that is learned I think, and I am an incredibly slow learner.  I do hope to say one day soon that in whatever circumstance I find myself in, I am content...even little silly circumstances like slightly uncomfortable temperatures.

--da

What I like about Louisville...#1

One of the things I really like about Louisville is the ease of recycling.  We have a small bin at the house, and throughout the week we toss anything recyclable in it.  There's no need to sort either!  On Thursday night, we take our trash can and our recycling bin out to the street, and early Friday morning its picked up by two different trucks.
Texas isn't so recycle friendly.  Growing up, I remember having loads of paper that we would have to hold onto until my mom and I would take our every 6 week trip to Plainview to buy groceries.  At that point, we would load up our paper and drop it off at the only recycling collection place in Plainview.  (There may be more locations..but not that I know of.)  Friends in Lubbock who I know recycle keep 4 or 5 big plastic trash cans in their garage so they can sort and then carry their own recycling to a collection place in Lubbock.  Its a lot of "mafan" as we say in Chinese (trouble, inconvenience) to recycle there.  

In China, you can recycle (have to take it to a recycling place yourself) but we never did.  People will walk around and go thru the public trash cans, and the trash cans in apartment complexes, and take out plastic bottles and bags, aluminum cans, cardboard, etc.  Mostly we saw homeless people or retired people doing this....the latter out on their morning/afternoon/evening walk w/ a big bag to carry their finds back home.  Eventually they will go to the collection place and actually sell by the weight what they have.  I figure that in this case, we don't have to worry about sorting, and someone else who might need that cash benefits.  Win/win.  

--da

(Kentucky/Louisville are, obviously, different from Texas/Lubbock.  Some things I really like...some things I, well, don't.  So here's the beginning of writing about a few obvious differences that I've noticed.)

Book Preview

One thing I would like to do at the blog is review (or suggest) books I've read.  Of course, not all books, but there are some out there that I've read and thoroughly enjoyed, and think you should therefore know about them.  Problem will probably be that those of you who read the blog will have already read the same book...b/c I know pretty much who my audience is and how our interests are similar.  Or, there are those of you who read the blog, but will have neither the time nor the interest to read what I review/suggest.  Oh well.  I'm not really blogging, about books or any other topic, to please my readers.

Anyways, I've read 10 books so far this year.  Which is maybe a little low for me.  I read 47 last year.  (Yes, I keep a log.  I started it in July 2007.  First book on the list was Mao: The Untold Story by Jung Chang.)  Of these 10 books so far, there are at least 5 that deserve mentioning...and of the 47 last year, there are probably 20 worth writing about.  So...there you go.  Look for some stuff throughout the year (or however long I keep up this writing thing) on books.  

Today though is more about a book that I read about, and will probably buy on the kindle here shortly, that I look forward to reading, tearing apart, and then writing about it.  Reading other blogs this morning,  I found a review/article on Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother by Amy Chua at Dr. Al Mohler's website.  Briefly, Mrs. Chua's book is about how the Chinese way of parenting is better than the undemanding form of parenting often found in the West (America).  She argues the proof is in her two very successful and intelligent daughters, who she has pushed to succeed and seemingly deprived of a warm and loving family environment.  Below is the link to Dr. Mohler's article, and having not yet read the book, I will refrain from commenting on it now.  However, living in an Asian culture for just 2 years, I already have lots of arguments and questions for her, and one can only wonder if her worth is found primarily in the success of her children.

Okay, I have to stop pretending like this is my job and unload the dishwasher now.

--da

Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother

What? Two posts in one week?

I know.  But I promised.  :)

So, let me fly over the past 5 months of life.  This is like the 35,000 ft. view from the air.

We finished up our time there in JH mid January.  We were uber busy from October to January...w/ fun stuff like hosting friends and making a trip to BJ and SH, an awesome welcome home to some of our teammates right before Thanksgiving, a great Thanksgiving complete w/ mad Wii Dance parties, Logan making a two week trip to Thailand to do some research and have some dental work done, a Christmas that was good but not traditional at all...we ate Chinese food for lunch, Logan spending a lot of time w/ our supervisor building an aquaponics system (more about this another day), and then us packing up and heading back to America.  It was busy and good.

We arrived in TX January 17th, and it was a fantastic homecoming.  We spent a whirlwind of two weeks visiting friends and family in the Lubbock area, and then made our way to Louisville, KY so that Logan could attend Southern Sem. for the semester.  We are settled and enjoying our time here, but...we're looking forward to making it back to TX in May and then BACK TO ASIA in July!  Its all official now and we'll be heading back for a more long term position.  We are very thankful for the opportunity to go back, and we're very thankful for the opportunity to be here too.

Anyways, that's the fly over of what's going on in our lives.  More about life in Louisville later....

--da

5 months since the last post....

Whoa, five months.  That's ridiculous.  Did you think we had given up the blog?  I did.  Let's just say we're not very good at this, but you've realized that by this point.

There were lots of times in the last 5 months that I wanted to post something.  Seriously.  But I didn't for multiple reasons....let me name a few.  For one, there's the time factor.  Not enough time, or already wasted so much time that I felt guilty for getting back on the computer, or the time I feel like it takes me to post about something (more on this in point 2).  Two, my writing is not that great, and it usually takes me way too much time to organize my thoughts and get everything written out in at least a decent style.  Three, I don't ever know what you want to hear about.  There is a constant tension in my mind between what I know would be an abnormal thing for you to read or see, and what is very normal for me to see every day...i.e the market, where meat that's not refrigerated is normal to me, but very abnormal to you.  Lots of cultural experiences and things that made up daily life began to be very normal for us, which in many ways is a very good thing for us, but it led to a lack of what I considered worthy blogging material.  Plus, I'm not one to really think that you want to hear all about what Logan and I do...I mean, sometimes we are just not that interesting.  We don't jump out of planes or anything like that.  Yes, we lived in Asia for 2 years.  But overall life was very similar to what life looks life for you.

Anyways, there are a lot of other things I could say about not keeping up the blog.  We burned out on it, honestly, which is sad b/c it wasn't like we were blogging every day.  But really, from the bottom of my heart I want to continue the blog.  I really desire to develop my writing a little bit.  And so now I have a semi-goal of 500 words a day.  Not 500 words a day on the blog, but just in general 500 words a day.  Most of the time it will be my own personal journal that I put those words in, but hopefully over time I will be quicker to reflect on my surroundings/life/what's going on, and see how I can write about those things.  And, I hope the more I write, the easier it will become to sit down and crank out a blog post in a 10-15 minutes.

This is not a commitment to you, our readers who have not given up on us (which would probably only be my mom and dad), but hopefully I will find this post to be the one that starts us over again on this blogging thing.

One other reason for the desire to blog:  sometime in December or January, Logan and I watched The Social Network (movie about facebook) and it made me really despise facebook.  Now, I'm not trashing it or the creators of it, and I know that the movie had an element of drama to it that probably wasn't present in the real life story of the creation of facebook.  Before we watched the movie, I seriously was playing around w/ the idea of deactivating my account.  After we watched the movie, I was done.  That was it.  It took me a while to actually follow thru, but around the first of March, I was sitting in front of the fireplace, reading Wendell Berry, and then I grabbed my computer and deleted my account.  Completely done.  It has been the most freeing thing in the world really.  And so w/ the deletion of facebook from my life, I realize that this could become one good way that I still have random communication w/ those of you who I don't see daily/monthly/yearly.  (By the way, there will be more on Wendell Berry, facebook, and what we're up to in later posts.  I promise.)

Anyways, here's to trying to write more consistently.

--da